The trip from Graeme’s house in the township of Wallan to the nursing home in Nagambie follows the Hume Freeway over the Great Dividing Range. This mountain range runs roughly parralel to the east coast of Australia for a distance of some 3700 kilometres (2300 miles), beginning in Western Victoria and stretching all the way up through Far North Queensland.
While there is nothing within it quite as grand as America’s Grand Canyon, it is nevertheless some 240million years older and one of the world’s longest mountain ranges, rising abruptly out of the desert scrub in Western Victoria to form the spectacular Grampians National Park before continuing east through the Victorian Alpine Region. From here it turns north to form the Snowy Mountains and Blue Mountains of NSW, where it offers up Australia’s highest peak, Mt Kosiosko. It then continues on through the verdant hinterland of Byron Bay and the mid-north coast, the ocean hugging rainforests from Cairns to Port Douglas and the World Heritage listed, Daintree Rainforest. It’s northernmost point extends beyond the mainland, to Dauan Island, in the Torres Strait, off the Cape York Peninsula.
Australia’s three largest cities, Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane are located on this side of the country and 75% of the Australian population live between the Great Dividing Range and the Eastern seaboard.
The township of Wallan sits at the base of the Dividing Range about an hour’s drive north of Melbourne. The average temperature on any given day can be 5’C cooler than in the city. It rarely snows here but clouds form above the range and it is often cold, wet and windy. However 45 minutes drive over the Divide to Nagambie and the climate changes dramatically.
I have many fond memories of making the trip over the Great Dividing Range to escape Melbourne for a few days each week, over the course of about four years, to visit mum, where I would enjoy nothing more than sitting with her on her front verandah with a cup of tea, soaking up the winter sun.
But my connection to this part of the world goes back further, much further than that.
When I was 10, Mum and Dad bought a small farm about 10 minutes drive west of Wallan. I finished primary school and completed high school living in the shadow of the Great Dividing Range.
When mum and dad separated in 1977, my brothers and I stayed on the farm with Dad, while mum and Emma moved to the township of Kilmore.
Kilmore sits about fifteen minute’s drive north of Wallan, smack bang in the middle of the Dividing Range. It is Victoria’s oldest inland town, being a full day’s journey by horse and cart from old Melbourne town and was established as the shortest route over the mountain, on the onward journey to Sydney.
Dad was born at the Kilmore Hospital, as were his father and grandfather. His great grandfather was a tailor who sailed to Australia from England in 1858 to join Victoria’s gold rush before establishing a business on the main street of the town.
In the ensuing years, mum moved gradually further north, remarried and settled in Nagambie in the late 1980’s.
I went to high school in Kilmore, travelling to and from Wallan on the school bus. When I first got my driver’s licence, when I first started working, when I was catching up with friends, I travelled up and down this road and in and around these hills every day.
Shortly after Dad’s funeral in 2019, I was travelling up to Nagambie to see mum and as I drove up the freeway past the turn-off to Wallan, I could feel his presence in the hills all around me.
It was an ethereal experience.
Indigenous Australians, feel a strong sense of connection to country and to the ancestors who went before them.
I get it. On that day I felt it too.
As I’m driving up the freeway today, I’m reflecting, as I often do, on how many times I have made this trip. I know every bend in the road, every tree, every crevice in every hillside. I know all the places where kangaroos come to feed and when.
I watched the sun setting over the hills to the west, one fine autumn evening, as I was travelling north to mum’s place and I marvelled as the colours of nature deepened and clung to the horizon for over half an hour.
As I reached the turn off to Nagambie, the sky all around me was coloured a deep midnight blue but a vibrant orange glow continued to burn like fire where the land touched the sky.
This is my neck of the woods. My spiritual home. My country.
It is late Saturday morning and I message Josh as the auction took place today. I ask how it went and he messages back to say the house was sold. I ask how much it went over his limit. He messages back to say that in fact, they were the successful bidders. Way to make a statement Josh.
The house fell just short of the seller’s reserve and was passed in. However, as Josh and Dimi had made the highest bid they were invited inside to negotiate directly with the owner. The owner was hoping for $10,000 more than was offered at auction and agrees to meet Josh and Dimi in the middle. It’s a great result. I honestly thought it would have sold for more.
Both Josh and Tom come to visit granny on Sunday. It’s been almost a year since they last saw her when we all met for lunch at Lucy Liu. Josh especially, is quite taken aback. They had both talked about coming to visit while she was still in the independent living apartment but work and other commitments meant their best intentions were never followed through. You can sense their sadness as they realise that now may be the last time they will see her alive.
I try and lighten up the mood by telling mum that Josh has some very exciting news and he shows her some pics of his new house. Then I mention that I have also spoken to the boys about her wish to request assisted dying. They listen solemnly as she tells them in her own words that this her way of taking control of her situation. After about 45 minutes I can see Josh is getting restless. I suggest we take a couple of photos then Josh and Tom give their granny a kiss and say goodbye. As they stop at the door they both look back and mum tells them they are beautiful.
I make an appointment on Monday to see mum’s GP. She gives me an update on mum’s condition, explaining that they are managing her medication to treat anxiety, nausea and occasional vomiting. We also chat briefly about the upcoming appointment with the assisted dying specialist.
But the ulterior motive for my visit is that it’s time I undergo a thorough health check.
I’ve been carrying a sinus condition for about three years now and have not been able to clear it. So I need to assess my options, including the possibility of surgery.
I’m also concerned about my lungs given, until last week at least, I have been a reasonably heavy smoker. I quit when I was 27 but started again about five years ago. Although I have been swimming every day since we built the pool, I remember Dad swam for many years until a doctor told him it was doing more harm than good to his asbestos damaged lungs.
It’s something that plays on my mind.
I also want to get my bloods done, that is, to check my cholesterol and blood sugar levels. Both have been sitting higher than they should be for many years, but to date I have tried to manage both with diet and exercise.
But I haven’t had a blood test now in about three years so I need get it done.
Mum’s GP also suggests I do a bowel screening which I haven’t done in about five years.
She then she checks my blood pressure. 160/90. That’s way too high. Dad had a heart specialist he swore by so I ask the GP to give me a referral. I also get a referral for a CT scan for my sinus as well as to see a sinus specialist and book in for a lung function test which can be done here at the medical clinic.
So I’ve got a bit to get through over the next few weeks and, as my blood pressure reading suggests, I am probably going to have to start taking some medications. But first, I am going to arm myself with facts.
The medical clinic is next door to the nursing home and I drop in to see mum.
Someone has got her out of bed and sitting in her chair. The GP is due to visit shortly and somebody thought it might be better if she was not in bed. But she seems entirely non-plussed and so I help her back to bed.
I offer to make her a cup of tea but these days she prefers a cold drink. She has orange cordial beside her bed and chocolate flavoured protein drinks in the fridge. She tries the cordial but it’s not cold enough so she drinks half a chocolate milk.
The doctor arrives and checks her medical chart. She is a tall Indian woman with an imposing demeanour. Mum finds her a little bossy but to my mind she is nothing if not thorough and straight to the point.
She is considering increasing the amount of pain killer mum is receiving and I suggest that Graeme might give her a call as he will be better placed to discuss such things. She touches again on the upcoming visit from the assisted dying specialist but there’s nothing really to discuss until after the assessment. The GP then wishes mum well and is gone.
Lunch arrives. A small plate of sandwiches. But mum doesn’t really have an appetite. The old jug of cordial has been replaced with a new cold jug so she takes a glass of that.
We talk for a short while about nothing much in particular then, as mum is getting sleepy, I tell her I am going to head back to Graeme’s and will come and see her tomorrow.
When we moved mum into the independent living apartment we put her old house on the market where it has sat, unsold for the past eighteen months. But suddenly we have found a prospective buyer. They have made a offer subject to us carrying out a pest inspection.
The house is largely a steel-framed construction with a vinyl clad exterior but there has been some evidence of termites in a timber framed room built behind the carport at the side of the house.
The inspection reveals extensive termite damage.
The buyer nevertheless agrees to purchase the house if we will cover the cost of extermination.
We agree subject to a 10% deposit and settlement within 30 days.
They pay the deposit that day then two days later ask if they can pay the balance immediately and take possession.
Sold.
The deposit will cover the cost of mum’s funeral expenses, which otherwise Graeme and I would have had to fund. The rest of the money can sit in her bank account until the settlement of her estate goes through the normal statutory procedure.
As mum has no other assets and few savings it neatly wraps up the settlement of her affairs.
All in all, it’s a timely and tidy outcome.
One could even say serendipitous.
My first task the following morning is to take the first of three samples for my bowel screening. Graeme lives a short distance from a medical centre which has a pathology clinic where I can get my bloods done and where I can take my samples for analysis.
I also book in a time to have my CT scan done. This will be done at a different clinic in a town half way between Wallan and Nagambie.
Once all the results are in I can think about booking appointments with the sinus specialist and Dad’s heart specialist.
I travel up to Nagambie to see Mum. She is anxious today and in alot of pain. She has a couple of nurses coming in and out to check on her and they give her lots of sympathy and attention. Both comment on how much they love mum and that they will do everything they can to make sure she is comfortable.
This particular nursing home has had an excellent reputation for many years for the quality of it’s care and even with the pain and discomfort she feeling, mum tells me that all the nurses here are wonderful and she is being very well cared for.
Amen to that.
The GP drops by to say she has spoken to Graeme and they are going to increase her pain medication today and will also start giving her endone if the regular medication doesn’t do it’s job.
I’m feeling at a bit of a loss today. It’s no fun seeing your mum like this and I’m a little unsure of what I can do to help.
A nurse comes in with her pain medication. I sit with her for a while, help her with her cold drink, adjust the nose-piece of her oxygen supply which has become dislodged. A short while later she starts to become drowsy. I tell her I am going to go out and get some lunch then I will come back and sit with her.
While I am out I message Dewi. She tells me her iPhone has died. It’s a couple of generations old and was purchased second hand about 12 months ago. And although it’s been pretty reliable the battery is now quickly losing charge.
Unfortunately my funds are starting to run low and the last thing I want is to be replacing an old handphone. But there is really no alternative. Much better she purchases a new one now while I have the money than buy another one second hand.
She is very excited by the prospect of owning a new phone but I’m feeling a little stressed. It’s no wonder my blood pressure is so high.
The guesthouse has been reopened six months after closing nearly a year ago but wth the country closed to international tourism, we are only welcoming a few guests every month, and are running at a loss.
The pub is trading well but most of the income Penny and I draw from the business goes towards paying down the mortgage on a house we purchased about ten years ago.
Had we sold the house when we first separated, we would have cleared our debts and walked away with nothing. So we have agreed to keep the house until the lease on our pub expires, by which time we will have paid down the mortgage, and the house will, hopefully, have increased enough in value to go some way towards funding our retirement.
While it’s certainly the most sensible strategy, our lease still has five years to run and with the pandemic playing havoc with our finances I have been dipping into my retirement savings to get by.
The sale of mum’s house has been a blessing as the proceeds will ultimately come to Emma, Graeme and I. There is another brother, Andrew, who had a massive falling out with mum many years ago and, as he has made no attempt to reconcile his differences with her, she has not included him in her will.
No doubt Graeme and I will be left to deal with any fallout from that decision when the time comes.
After I have eaten, I walk back to the nursing home and find that mum is resting peacefully. I sit with her for a while as she drifts in and out of sleep.
After an hour or so I decide I’ve done all I can for today. So I give mum a kiss on the cheek and tell her I’ll see her again tomorrow.