I seem to be waiting a very long time in the hotel lobby to be accompanied to the departure gate for my flight to Australia. I wait patiently but am really hanging out to smoke a cigarette which can only be done in designated areas within the transit terminal.
To my great disappointment I am one of the last to arrive for boarding and I don’t have sufficient time to indulge my craving.
The premium economy seats on Scoot Airlines are like big leather recliners and as with Singapore Airlines full food and beverage service (but no movies) are included in the ticket price. But in a novel first, we are all treated to complimentary on board wi-fi.
I order chicken curry and a cold beer for lunch and settle in for a 7½ hour flight and nicotine withdrawal.
The plane leaves Singapore at 11am but with the two hour time difference touches down in Melbourne at 9.30pm.
The normal immigration and customs checkpoints have been replaced by a series of desk stops where each traveller needs to answer a series of questions, provide specific documentation and sign specific documents.
At one point I’m asked if I have had coronavirus or if I am presenting with any symptoms. At another I am asked if I am a smoker and how much alcohol I consume in a day. At the next I’m asked if I take prescription medicine or consume illicit substances and whether I have or have had any history of mental health issues. At yet another desk I’m asked if I have any concerns. I say yes I am concerned about the risk of catching the virus through the hotel’s ventilation system.
The attendant nods and says “Yes, that is a common concern.”
At the final desk I am allocated a hotel and after a short wait I am escorted to my bus.
Before I board I ask if I can stand alongside the bus and have a cigarette.
The answer is a firm no.
In about 20 minutes a number of other passengers have boarded the bus and we are on our way to the city.
The bus arrives at our destination in the centre of town. A number of police are standing outside the entrance chatting with a number of Australian Defence Force personnel. The Army have recently been bought in to assist with the oversight of hotel quarantine in Victoria after a series of blunders last year plunged the State into a 112 day lockdown.
Let’s hope they get it right this time.
We remain seated on the bus for about 15 minutes by which time I’m feeling a little irascible. I call out to the driver and ask how much longer do we have to wait. He says it shouldn’t be too much longer. I’m less than satisfied with the answer.
“Did they not know we were coming?” I ask. (Translation: Someone give me a bloody cigarette!)
A short while later an official boards the bus in full PPE attire and prepares to read from a formal transcript.
We have attempted to enter the country in a time of pandemic and subsequently the State Government requires us to be mandatorially detained for a period not less than 14 days.
Fines will apply to those who refuse to comply with the provisions of their detention and extensions of detention will apply to those who refuse to undertake pcr tests as required, during and prior to the end of the detention period.
There is more along these lines and to be honest I’m shocked by the tone of the document and the language of control that is used. Who would think it necessary to write such a pompous piece of quasi-legal twaddle?
Put me in quarantine by all means but don’t make me out to be a criminal for choosing to fly home to the country of my birth in the middle of a global pandemic.
A number of hotels have rooms with balconies which enable people like me to be able to smoke during quarantine and they typically attract a premium above the standard AUD$3000 fee and while I am prepared to pay, this hotel has no such rooms. I ask how and when I will be able to have a cigarette and am told that it won’t be possible to go out for a smoke at any time but that they can supply patches to help allay the cravings.
Now I’m bloody ropeable, all the more because I understand there’s nothing I am going to be able do about it.
The room is basic but clean but I sanitise all the most commonly touched surfaces anyway. Chair, table, tapware, power points, light switches, door handles. It’s neither hot nor cold so I leave the air-conditioner turned off.
It’s now 11.30pm and I’d love a glass of wine. I call reception.
“Sorry sir, alcohol service ends at 11pm.
Great. A police state and a nanny state.
Welcome to Australia.
In the morning I call mum, Graeme and my sons to let them know I have arrived.
Mum sounds good but I feel she would be happier if I could just drop everything and come.
Graeme tells me she is again requesting we look into assisted dying. He does some research and discovers the process is relatively straightforward but requires two doctors trained in the field to assess her before signing off on her request. He makes an appointment to see the first specialist later in the month.
I unpack clothes and other items I’m going to be using regularly. It’s warm in Melbourne at this time of year and I’m going to need to take a chance on the hotel’s air-conditioning system. There don’t seem to be many concrete examples of large scale transmission via this method so it’s probably going to be safe enough.
I spend the rest of the day playing my anger off against my nicotine cravings.
I message Dewi and tell her I’m not able to smoke. She tells me I have to expect this in a disciplined country like Australia.
I tell her I just want a cigarette and don’t want her to tell me what I should expect or how I should think.
Somebody calls to check on how I’m doing and I tell them I’m fine but would kill for a cigarette. They suggest now might be as good a time as any to give up. I tell them that’s a choice for me to make not them and certainly not the State of Victoria.
They ask if I would like them to send up some nicotine patches. I tell them I don’t want anything that’s not a cigarette.
I’ve actually wanted to give up for some time now and deep down I know this is really a good opportunity do just that.
But for now the withdrawal symptoms are fuelling a sense of indignation that I am being denied a choice. Choosing to refuse help brings a certain level of control back to my corner.
Lunch arrives. An Asian salad with sliced beef.
I call room service and order a six pack of beer and a bottle of white wine.
The food is reasonably good for the duration of my stay and I can see from the menu that a deal of effort has gone into providing vegan, vegetarian and gluten-free options. For those with no dietary requirements there is quite a lot of fried food and rich meat dishes, especially for dinner and I find after a few days with no exercise to speak of that my belly burns as it tries to process the saturated fats.
After dinner on my first night, I find myself in need of extra refreshment. I’ve only drank one of the beers but the bottle of wine is done. I call for another bottle of wine only to discover that I’ve reached my daily limit.
24 hours in and the nanny state still rules.
Can someone please hand me a cigarette?
My time in hotel quarantine coincides with the Australian Open Tennis Tournament which takes place every year in Melbourne and means there will be some top quality sports coverage on TV to help occupy the long hours of nothing to do. A number of Australians are expected to push deep into the tournament including women’s world number one, Ash Barty.
Players arriving from overseas have been given an exemption from entering quarantine but their movements will be restricted to their accomodation and Melbourne Park where they will practice and play.
Unfortunately for many players, they travel to Australia on planes where positive cases have turned up meaning that they, like all passengers, will be required to self-isolate for 14 days.
Even though tournament directors say they made it very clear to all players that this would be a requirement in such a situation, many, including top ranked men’s player Novak Djokovic, say they weren’t told and will be severely disadvantaged by not being allowed the opportunity to practice in the lead up to the tournament.
Others vent their frustration by submitting letters of demand.
The Melbourne public are avid sport fans and look forward to hosting this annual event. But they have very little sympathy for the whining concerns of these elite athletes, having just endured one of the world’s longest and toughest lockdowns.
Talk back radio is inundated with calls for these privileged sportsmen and women to harden up and stop behaving like they have some god-given right to bring the coronavirus back into the community.
Just do it.
On day three of quarantine, I get my first pcr test and so far so good. That night, towards the end of a full bottle of Australian Sauvignon Blanc, I turn on the extractor fan in the bathroom, close the door, turn on the shower to create a good head of steam and light up a cigarette.
The fine for getting caught is $1000 dollars plus costs if the fire brigade is called out so I butt it out after just a few puffs. The smoke detector is positioned just outside, above the bathroom door but it doesn’t go off so, over the course of the next week, I smoke the remaining packet and a half of cigarettes that I have in my possession. Once they are gone, I call reception and request a pack of nicotine patches.
My eldest son Josh says I have behaved like a 16 year old schoolgirl. But I quietly enjoy having found a way to beat the system and enjoy a cigarette. Now I might try and focus on giving up for good.
Melbourne’s first lockdown began after breaches in the hastily organised hotel quarantine program saw cases spread rapidly and largely unchecked between guests and staff and into the broader community. State Premier, Daniel Andrews faces extraordinary scrutiny as he faces the media in daily press conferences regarding his role in the bungled program and how it could have been allowed to happen during his watch.
Under what must have been intense pressure he resolutely refuses to be drawn on how it might have all gone so wrong or who might be ultimately be responsible, saying these are questions for a judicial inquiry which has been set up to look into these matters
The important thing now, he says, is that every Victorian follows the health advice and lockdown measures that his government has put in place to drive covid numbers back towards zero.
He fronts the media for every one of the 112 days of lockdown giving updates, fielding questions and encouraging every Victorian to stay the course.
To this day, he is widely admired by the whole electorate for the conviction and leadership he showed during an incredibly challenging time.
And, aside from the tripe that was served up by the official that came onto the bus, I wholeheartedly agree.
When the lockdown was first announced on July 8, 2020, Victoria reported 149 new daily cases. This is a week after stay at home orders issued to a number of inner city areas failed to stem a rapid increase in infections.
Sydney by comparison, which has a larger population base than Melbourne, has been able to avoid going into lockdown thanks to its superior contact tracing system which has proved effective in swiftly identifying and isolating community infections.
They are also using the Australian Armed Forces and NSW Police to oversee their quarantine program.
Victoria, on the other hand, outsourced the task to independent contractors who use security guards normally employed as crowd controllers at Melbourne pubs and clubs.
The arrangement was put in place with little or no consultation and next to no infection control training. No one in the government can say who implemented the program or signed off on the order.
As Toby often likes to say, “What could go wrong? “
As anybody who has worked in the hospitality industry here can tell you, Melbourne security contractors are by and large one of the least reliable and least accountable business operators in the country. Licences are easy to obtain and require very little training or proven experience and the staff they employ are generally unskilled, unsupervised and underpaid.
During four months of security contractors assuming responsibility for Victorian Hotel Quarantine, staff are often seen wandering around the hotel without masks, people are given permission to leave the hotel to buy alcohol and cigarettes and at least one guard has has been caught pants down and carnally engaged with a quarantined guest.
At its peak on August 4, Victoria reports 687 new cases in a single day before numbers begin to fall. The UK at the same time is reporting around 800 cases a day.
It is not until October 27, 2020 that Victoria is able bring the daily case number down to zero, and the world’s longest lockdown comes to an end.
Residents in the first suburbs to be issued with stay at home orders have been house-bound for a full four months.
With case numbers in the UK now reaching 10,000 a day, Premier Dan Andrews tells Victorians to get on the beers.
For the next four months, Victoria joins the rest of Australia in enjoying next to no community transmission.
The State of NSW is considered to be the gold standard, thanks to the success of it’s public health response and it’s ability to prevent infections in hotel quarantine from breaking out into the community.
International flights to Melbourne resume on December 7 after the local quarantine program receives a major overhaul. Health Minister, Jenny Mikakos resigns after Premier Andrews lays the blame for the bungled first effort squarely at her feet during his long awaited appearance before the judicial inquiry.
But now, as I begin my second week a detainee of the newly revamped system, Melbourne’s quarantine response is buckling once again.
A hotel close to the airport has seen a new outbreak of infections amongst guests and staff which is now spreading amongst the community.
Most concerning is the fact that one positive case has visited a busy cafe at the domestic airport enroute to boarding an interstate flight.
Although there are only 13 confirmed cases, Premier Dan Andrews calls a snap five day lockdown on Feb 13. He calls it a short, sharp circuit breaker.
All international flights into Melbourne are, once again, temporarily suspended.
The Garuda flight I booked back in November was scheduled to touch down on the 15th. Had it not been cancelled, it would have not been allowed to fly into the country on this day.
Genomic testing indicates the new cases are the first detected cases of a more infectious variant presently circulating in the UK. Graeme and Deidre are certain the lock down will be extended but by Feb 18, with only 5 new cases, all in self isolation, Melburnian’s third lockdown come to a short, sharp end.
And at 10.30 am the following day, my mandatory detention in Victoria’s now notoriously leaky hotel quarantine system also comes to an end.
I am a free man.
And after a week on nicotine patches I don’t even feel like a cigarette.